Yesterday was Oscar’s last carol service at Junior school. It is like lots of carol services a time for mixed feelings. A time to be happy and a time to reflect.
I am not as such a religious person though I wouldn’t say I wasn’t either. But church always does something to me, it is a place that perhaps makes me more sad than happy if I am honest.
Yesterday though while the younger children sang ‘Away in the Manger’ I wasn’t struck by sadness but a vision of myself at 10 years old giggling in the pews with my friend whilst two of the boys in our class were doing there best to keep the giggling going. It struck me so strongly that I sat there wondering where all those now 30 years had gone. But it was equally a nice memory and I am glad I had it.
When we all got to sing ‘Silent Night’ my eyes filled up. A song my Mum used to love singing and she did love to sing at our Christmas service. Whilst my singing wavers just above hearing, my Mum voice would have been heard above the rest. She sang well but quite loudly!!!
When the youngest ones sang ‘Starry Night’ again I was struck by a little sadness. The tiny voices that my children once had, that now have grown into older but still lovely voices. A reminder of how precious time is and how quickly it goes by. A slight feeling broody moment which was mirrored in my friends glassy eyes. She is 10 years younger than me but unfortunately can’t have anymore children. She has one and that was all that was meant to be.
It is a great time to just stop and think, a little bit grounding really in a positive sense. When we are all rushing around stressing about having the perfect Christmas in reflection does it really matter. As long as we have a happy day and most importantly our children do.
I will miss these carol services despite making me sad too, it is a sad that is good for you, a sad that is sometimes needed.
I have linked up this week with Penny Little Legacy over a Alexander Residence a place I love to go and visit. So pop over there and see other Little Legacy.