Yesterday I saw a comment of Facebook from the lovely Karin from Cafe Bebe. Which basically said ‘Do you look in the mirror and sometimes wonder who it is that is looking back and you?
This morning I remembered this poem by Janthea Bridgen. We were given it when I did a parenting course when Bex was 4 and Oz was 2. It remained in my folder on my book shelf as it also has my job application in for my job as a Mum. Perhaps I will share that with you soon, and maybe I shall re-write one for now nearly ten years on!!! Parenting is quite a different game ten years on I can tell you!
So here the poem.
Reflection of a Parent
I look in the mirror and what do I see?
I see a stranger staring at me.
Somebody’s mother, somebody’s wife,
somebody’s daughter but nobody’s life.
Who was I? Who am I? And who will I be?
I plead with the stranger who’s staring at me.
Did I ever know? I just can’t re-call.
Somehow that seems the most painful of all.
In punishment now for years of neglect,
no caring, no self-loving and little respect.
I search and I search but remorselessly see
only a stranger staring at me.
Yet in the eyes if I look long and deep
a slight recognition of dreams still asleep.
A five year old child, ten year old sage,
a youth full of vision, passion and rage.
So as I gaze, I silently vow
to renew our acquaintance starting from now.
As for my children the lesson will be,
look in the mirror and love who you see.
By Janthea Bridgen
For me being a parent has been the best thing I have ever done. Despite sometimes it being tough, years and years of sleepless nights in fact when you add the years up it totals nearly 11 as Oscar didn’t sleep through the night till nearly 9 years old. I do still have the dark circles to show for it!!! Then over the years we have had to deal with the fall out of unresolved bullying. With the last 7 months being my worst parenting nightmare again from the echo of bullying and school sadly not doing their jobs properly. But after those long months with lots of outside support we have had a major breakthrough. A new start, a new look, a new outlook and things are looking great for my girl!
So lets look at that last paragraph. The last bit is easy and the lesson I always taught look in the mirror and love who you see. I am not sure it was heard though always but it is there in the background.
So as I gaze, I silently vow to renew our acquaintance starting from now.
I know in this last year along the way I have lost lots of things. My sister who despite lots of crying I know I have to do a lot more but I also want to make her proud of me. I so nearly felt I had lost my daughter but she is back stronger than ever and then myself. My confidence has taken a battering, my smile is not completely there and as I type this and I am crying because some how I need to find these and get them back. As I know that life can been incredibly short and it shouldn’t be wasted.
So as I type, I will not so silently vow to renew our acquaintance starting from now.
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